Friendship is something all of us look forward. Having a companion with whom one can share their thoughts and express their true self is important. We as humans make friends at almost every age of our life. It doesn't matter if we are 7, 17 or 70. At any age, we like to spend some quality time with people that we like.
Parenthood is one stage of life that one figures out as they go ahead. In that time, you must have had the thought that you will be your child's best friend. That he or she will be able to come up to you and literally share everything and anything.
But as time goes on and your ward grows up, you will find it becomes a tad bit difficult to do so. There will be times when you have to deny permission to do something, or when you will get into a fight with your child for silly reasons. And then you might wonder how a friendship can survive what you and your child have.
Well, guess what? It will. Friendship has its own way. There are good times and bad times. So understand that your child will need a friend in you. Given the amount of stress from school, their peers, their academics and other things, you will have to support them through their childhood and teenage.
Why is it Important?
- Being a friend to your child will help you see the world from their point of view.
- The child will understand the value of friendship and companionship.
- As you will be each others friends, you won't have to order your child to do their chores.
- They will come to understand you and the decsions you make.
- They will have a healthy relationship with you.
Here are a few tips that you can use to be a friend in need to your child and support them:
Show Interest in Them
You will have to start out by giving them some attention. If you avoid every simple conversation that they want to have with you then it will become very difficult for you to strengthen your bond
- Listen to what they have to say.
- Start early, and even if they don't make much sense to you hear them out.
- Give your opinions to them, and let them think about stuff.
- Let them know that they can trust you.
- Ask them what is happening in their life.
Maintain a Bit of Distance
Now as parents it might be very difficult for you to do this. But even you will understand if you think as young adults. You must provide some space for your children once they are in their mid-teens. This helps them be independent and will also help in keeping your friendship with your kids intact.
- Provide them with their own space.
- Start with a room of their own.
- Let them go out with their friends and have their fun.
- Respect their privacy and do not break their trust.
- Do not worry about things unnecessarily.
- Just remind them how open you are if they have something to say.
Don't Expect Too Much
The thing with expectations is that they seem like the best, but are unachievable. You might have this idea of perfect best friends about you and your child, and in reality, your ward might not be acting the same way.
This will only make you annoying and you might end up hurting your child unknowingly, which will result in them hurting you in turn. Be acceptable of any developments and don't expect too much from your child or yourself.
Discuss and Discourse
One of the key elements in the strengthening of any relationship involved communication. Many parents and children just nod and acknowledge each others presence, while keeping verbal communication to minimal. This provides no room for any bonding.
- Ask them about how their day was.
- Talk to your ward about what they have planned for their future.
- Have discussions with them about topics both of you are interested in.
- Try and understand their perspective on things.
- Get to know what they are interested in.
- Try not to force your ideas on them.
- Be open to their views.
Show Your Emotions
Many parents are uncomfortable with idea of being affectionate with their children. They feel like showing emotions is not required while dealing with their kids. Though seen most commonly in fathers, some mothers can also be of the same example. Talking to your child about their emotions, and showing affection to them will do nothing to your relationship. It makes it stronger actually.
- Have deep conversations where the child doesn't have to fear you tell something.
- Do not be mad at them and try to understand them.
- If they cry do not force them to stop.
- Remember crying is a biological response, so let the kid tear up a bit.
- Talk to them and guide them.
- They will look up to you, and come to your next time they have something on their mind.