It's not easy being the boss. Your team blames you for everything that's wrong with their professional and personal lives. And so does your boss. They want more money, less work, easier deadlines. He wants higher productivity, lower costs and delivery tomorrow.

How do you please both sides? The bad news is that you can't. The good news is, you can be pretty popular even without it. Here's how.

Blame
First, apportion blame sagaciously. To your team, blame the management. To the management, blame the team. Make sure that the two don't get a chance to communicate directly, without your presence and intervention.

Sympathise
Sympathise with your team about how the management doesn't do anything to improve working conditions, how they are all overworked and underpaid and how you understand their problems; you are in the same boat, aren't you? Moan about long working hours, few holidays and no perks and then bring in the pep talk: "You all need to put your best foot and arm and head forward and work as a team to meet your commitments and be professional, never mind the management. If you all do a good job, you will certainly persuade the management to see their point of view."

Sympathise with the management about the laziness, greed, and inefficiency of people nowadays, always asking for more pay and less work.