Effective communication is not just a business skill - it is a life skill & the most important source of personal power at work, family & social situations. Communication is the process of understanding and being understood through ideas, facts, thoughts and emotions. Good communication is determined not by how well we say things but by how well we have been understood.
One of the major facts for increasing interpersonal conflicts is poor communication. A recent study of 1200 CEOs of major Corporates reported that communication problems are the primary reason that many of the most capable business people failed or floundered. "Communication is also the most profound way to change brain chemistry" says Steven Paul, Chief of Clinical Neuroscience of the National Institute of Mental Health, USA. As people begin to speak, their blood pressure goes up, and microscopic blood vessels' changes are delectable at far distant point in the body. Concersely, when people listen attentively or tune n to the external environment in a relaxed manner, their blood pressure falls and heart rate slow, often slightly below normal resting levels. (The performance Edge by Robert K Cooper Ph.D. - p 73)
Listening skill is as important to effective communication as is speaking skill. Although some people are very good listeners, many unfortunately, are poor listeners. Listening skill is concerned with concentration and the ability to perceive the proper significance and relationship among the speaker's ideas. Real or genuine listening cannot be faked. To do it one must be what is called "fully present" by participating physically, mentally and emotionally.
Characteristics of Active Listening are: - Emphasising on listening than talking.
- Understanding personal feeling, beliefs and positions rather than obstract ideas.
- Following the speaker rather than leading the area we think we should be exploring.
- Clarifying the speakers' thoughts and feelings.
- Responding to speakers' feelings, beliefs and positions.
There are five essential factors, which influence active listening. They are:
- Motivation
- Concentration
- Empathy
- Knowledge
- Emotion
Motivation Motivation is the single most inmportant factor. The need to listen and a willingness to understand others. If motivation is absent the interest for listening declines and consequently the ability to sustain attention diminishes.
Concentration Lack of concentration can also be the result of poor motivation. However, another important factor is the rate of speed between the speaker and the listener. Most speakers speak at about 150 to 175 words a minute and the mind listens at a rate equivalent to 400 to 500 words per minute. So the mind works faster than the speaker can speak which means the mind has an opportunity to wander or to get diverted. Unless the listener uses his spare listening time in reflection & interpretaion of the speaker's message, he will soon be lost.
Empathy The key to effective interpersonal communication is this, "Seek first to understand then to be understood" says Steven R Covey author of Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. Empathetic listening involves more than understanding the words that are said. You listen with your ears but also, more importantly listen with your eyes and with your heart. You listen for feeling, you listen for meaning, and you listen for behaviour.
Knowledge Alistener with no knowledge of speaker's immediate subject or experience misinterprets the information and unless he understands the speakers communication codes or language the communication breakdown will occur.
Emotion The listeners' values and attitudes constitute emotional filters through which all messages pass through to his mind. The immediate emotional state of the listener can be a major communication constraint. For example a person saddened by a tragedy can be very poor listener or conversely emotionally upbeat person can be extemely receptive.
During communication process, perhaps it is good to remind ourselves what Zeno said, "We have two ears and one mouth so that we may listen more and talk less."
